Ask any couple in love where they were when they first saw one another and they can probably tell you the exact moment their eyes first met.
Genesis 2:23 shows Adam’s comments when meeting Eve for the first time…my New English Bible translation reads “Now this, at last, bone from my bones, flesh from my flesh!” Those two little words from Adam surprised me and I did a double-take. At last? That’s curious. God had just finished crafting the whole of Creation and he saved man for last before He rested. So if you adhere to a literal 6 days of Creation, it’s not like Adam had to wait that long for his bride. Day 1 Light & Dark. Day 2 Heaven. Day 3 Earth, flowers, trees, plant life. Day 4 Sun, moon & stars. Day 5 Fish & fowl. Day 6 Animals, critters & humans. Right? No, not quite…Day 6 was beasts and creepy crawlies and man. No woman in sight. The first man, Adam was going to have to wait a bit for his life companion.
It is no secret that much like many other Christian singles searching for “the One” I had my season on e-Harmony. I’ve met some interesting people, made some precious friends, and am personally responsible for swearing out 2 restraining orders against a couple of freaks. Through it all, I’ve heard some sad stories of those who suffered loss and/or are hurting deeply from rejection. I’ve witnessed some anger and resentment on the part of people who think God owes them a mate, like a reward for good behavior. I’ve been in the presence of jaded ones who became frustrated from the process and simply gave up. I’ve talked with, even prayed with new friends who weren’t exactly my soul mate but I’ve grown fond of and enjoy their companionship and learn from their insights into my journey. And ultimately I’ve amplified my resolve to wait for the right man of God, the one ordained for me. It seems I am learning the lesson of waiting much like Adam did.
In Genesis 2: 18 God acknowledged to Adam that it was not good that he was alone. And God promised to do something about that… “I will make a help meet for him.” But the very next words we read are that God brought animals and the birds of heaven to Adam to give them a name. HUH? God saw that something was not good—Adam’s aloneness—and he didn’t act upon it immediately? What had Adam done to tick off God? The truth of the matter is that Adam had done nothing to anger God…he hadn’t even sinned yet! Why was he being made to wait, his energies totally redirected to another task? Surely God knew that Adam had longings for companionship. Obviously, God cared enough for Adam to provide an address—the Garden of Eden, a job—tilling & caring for the Garden, food/nourishment, even direction/boundaries…these trees are okay for food, this one is not…so why was God holding out now on a mate for Adam, especially since it was the first time in all of creation that God said something was “not good”?
The questions we ask as we wait for God’s mate for us are probably very similar…why is God punishing me? {Though just like Adam, we know this is NOT the case}. Why is this taking so long? Is it ever going to happen? Doesn’t God know that I’m “not good” alone? Does God even care?
Scripture doesn’t disclose to us how long Adam had to wait. All we know is that God gave him an enormous job to do, name ALL the animals, birds, fish, creepy crawlies, every last one of them. When you consider the millions of species of all that God created, you’d have to surmise that Adam was busy for quite a long time. Through the months and years of completing his task as God paraded creature after creature in front of him, Adam had a great deal of time to think. Adam knew God was going to fulfill His promise to bring him a special partner. He must have had quite an imagination & knowing men as I do, I’d bet he was frequently picturing what she would look like, feel like, sound like. No doubt Adam had some fairly vivid images of what God had in store for him so he was probably highly motivated to accomplish the task at hand and be ready when God delivered. There’s no depiction of Adam whining to God. No demanding tone. No sense of entitlement. No despondency over the time that it was taking for God to make good on His promise. Adam simply spent the years of waiting acting in obedience to God’s assignments, all the while trusting the Mighty Creator to deliver in His perfect timing.
But what else was going on during all this time? Think about it. Adam was alone with God. He spent time with the Creator of the Universe. They sat together in the shade and enjoyed the beauty of creation. They worked side by side in the Garden. They explored the landscape, probably did some rock climbing, hiking. They walked down to the ocean together to name the creatures of the sea. They listened to the waves as Adam felt sand between his toes. They experienced sunsets across the vast waters. They talked. They embraced silence. They enjoyed fellowship with one another. In short, they were building relationship and intimacy. God used the time to allow Adam to grow in right relation with Himself first. It wasn’t punishment; it was preparation. God knew that Adam was intensely relational…He had created him to be. Even more reason for God to allow Adam time to prepare for his soul mate by getting to know Him. Life is all about relationship…first with God and then, if we’re fortunate, with a significant other.
Adam demonstrated responsibility as he faithfully continued day after day to name the animals. He grew in patience and devotion to God walking & talking with Him for an undisclosed amount of time. Finally, when God knew that Adam was ready, confident that he had right priorities, He caused Adam to fall into a deep trance…a picture of Adam resting fully, completely in God while The Maker of the Universe crafted the most beautiful woman who had ever lived {forgive me, I couldn’t resist}. And then he brought her to Adam just as He had promised.
In the moment of that first meeting, Adam must have been overwhelmed. Despite his mental images of what he expected God to provide, we get a glimpse into the intensity of Adam’s reaction when Eve at last appeared before him. She was more magnificent than even he had envisioned and he exclaimed in his excitement something I’m sure was the Hebrew equivalent of “WHOA! BABY!” I imagine in that moment all the time spent waiting melted into nothing.
As those of us who are single wait on the one of God’s choosing for us, I pray that we learn the lessons of Adam. Lessons of responsibility and continued obedience to God’s calling on our life. Lessons of patience and perseverance. Lessons of the depth of God’s love and His desire to be in right relation with us, to show us true intimacy. Lessons of what it means to rest fully and completely in God, trusting the same Maker of the Universe who brought Eve to Adam, to bring the one He intends for us. May we embrace time alone with our Divine Creator until we too are able to utter the words of Adam, “At last…”.
8 responses so far ↓
Bruce // September 22, 2008 at 8:50 pm |
I’ve never given any thought before to the time that appears to have elapsed between the creation of Adam and the creation of Eve. So the inference is, Adam married a much younger woman? hmmmmmm. “At Last” an explanation for man’s propensity to chase after the younger ladies. Are you trying to tell me something?
Seriously, Di, I appreciate the insights of your writing. You have this ability to catch the slightest nuances of Scripture that others can read over & over but never pick up on.
Write On!
livin4jesus // September 22, 2008 at 9:24 pm |
@ Bruce…any man with half a brain would also recall the horrendous trouble Adam got into because he was married to a younger woman! What am I saying? Man doesn’t use his brain when a young beautiful woman walks into his world, does he?
Do we really wanna open that can of worms?
Paul // September 23, 2008 at 3:03 pm |
Since we’re proposing theories here, my concept of Adam’s age at Eve’s arrival is this: Eve was fashioned from the rib that God took out of Adam. How old was the rib? Adam’s age. It’s like the first successfully cloned sheep, Dolly. She started life very small, but seemed to be already at the same “chronological cell age” as the sheep from which she was cloned, and she died rather “young” for a new sheep.
Not that Eve was a clone of Adam (obviously), but the clone age concept was the basis of my theory.
I’m sure some really good theories already exist as to why men tend to chase the younger women (such as: young women can bear more children). But, as an eHarmony member myself, I can say I learned pretty quickly that it didn’t work for me to be matched with a woman more than a few years younger than myself (but preferably not older, I’ll admit).
I found this cool quote from the freelance writer, Winter Prosapio:
“My father, a veteran of many marriages, always said he would never marry a woman who hadn’t had children. ‘They are too selfish,’ he said.”
Adam had no choice though.
livin4jesus // September 23, 2008 at 5:19 pm |
@ Paul in Texas…I was following your logic ’til you got to the part about why men chase younger women. Sorry, guy, her ability to bear kids has got precious little to do with it. I used to think men pursued younger partners simply because it made them feel more “masculine”, like some young gal is gonna make them feel young themselves. Then I considered that it was even beyond that ego point…men like the look of a young girl on their arm. It somehow affirms to other men that he’s still got it goin’ on. I have a storehouse of other theories & maybe I’ll pontificate & elaborate on them in a future posting {or NOT}.
Ultimately I came to the conclusion that men chase younger women because they CAN. Power to them if they are otherwise compatible! Though I’d like to think that no true man of God would make age a predominant determining factor …in either direction…with respect to who he chooses to spend his life with. Guess that’s why I’m a little surprised at your comment suggesting that you would not even consider an older woman. If men can have a relationship with someone younger why can’t women?
The most meaningful relationship I ever had was with a man 9 years my junior. I came to appreciate that a great relationship has little to do with age and everything to do with compatibility {spirituality,values, goals, ENERGY & all those other 29 dimensions of compatibility touted in e-Harmony commercials!}, chemistry, and mutual respect…& not necessarily in that order. Sadly, I listened to friends who convinced me that chronology mattered and I let him get away.
Nate // September 30, 2008 at 10:50 am |
Of all the things I could have found on the net to read today, God leads me to this. Wow, I’m so tired of all the games and chasing and waiting and everything else that comes with hating being single. I’m not good at this. I just want to meet a nice girl and treat her like a queen and wouldn’t it be nice if she’s good to me too? Well thanks for what you wrote about Adam waiting and it being worth it. Some days I don’t feel like its worth it but maybe if I can hang in there I will find out.
Kelly Ann // September 30, 2008 at 5:45 pm |
Dear DiAnna,
My sister and I attended a conference you spoke at over a year ago in Salt Lake City. I’m sure attendees come up and talk with you all the time and you won’t remember me but I stayed late that night and you prayed with me about my husband’s abuse of porn and alcohol. My sister said she found this web site and thought it was you and as soon as I saw your picture I could hear your voice in my head as you prayed for me. I was so excited I had to write to let you know that I went home a new woman and I did the things you spoke & prayed over me to show respect and love to my husband. It has been a rough year but God has been faithful. My husband got into rehab and started coming to church with me. Last month he prayed and asked Jesus into his heart! I remember arguing with you that my husband was so hard core he would never come around. I wanted to leave him and I would never have thought twice about it if I hadn’t gone to that conference. I’m so glad I found you again so I could say thank you and let you know that you made a difference in a family that was falling apart. God bless you! You have my e-mail address now so if you ever want to write I would love to hear from you. You and your family are in my prayers.
livin4jesus // September 30, 2008 at 9:31 pm |
@ Kelly Ann…of course I remember you and your sister Jean. I am so glad to hear this report. God IS Faithful and I rejoice with you! He honored your willingness to demonstrate humility by submitting to & respecting a man who we all agreed did not “deserve it”. Bless you dear sister. You inspire me!
Afr. Iend // October 10, 2008 at 12:22 pm |
The lessons of scripture are boundless. The parallels of human experience and the ultimate consummation of Christ and his Bride are illustrated in the passage you cite. I think too often we want the intimacy(perceived) and not the relationship. Our Father wants us to dwell with him, (relational) from which comes intimacy. The passage also illuminates the way ahead for those who would dare to find the perfect plan for their lives. Perhaps the deeper meaning lies in the unbounding love that the Father has for his children. How many times have we as parent “with held” absolute freedom from our beloved children because it was best for them? Did we want them to walk; absolutely. Did we want them to take off running and run directly across a busy intersection? Much in the same way, baby steps prepare us for the Marathon. Often we stumble along the way but grow stronger when we get up and keep moving, waiting. The question is, what are we doing while we wait?